Mr President Sir, We Are Not Impressed!

Your Excellency (in absentia) Sir, like many Nigerians, I learnt about your ‘conversation with BBC’ first on Facebook and then on the covers of the dailies as proof that you were still with us on this side of the eternal divide. Let me first be the humane citizen by wishing you well and being thankful that God’s mercy and our prayers has given you yet another lease of life. We hope that as the worst appears to be over, you will proceed quickly towards good health, vitality and strength. (In Yoruba that is Ilera, Okun ati Agbara.) 
Having said that, I would like to express our utmost disappointment at your management of this particularly crucial period for you as an individual and for us as the citizens of the nation of which you are President and Commander-in-Chief. Your Excellency, we do not in any way blame you for the misfortune of your infirmity as you could not have willfully chosen such a difficult path in life. Rather, we commend your tenacity and sagacity to refuse to be overtaken by the infirmity but rather choose to live life to the fullest which is your God given legacy sir.
However, by some twist of divine equation (and probable interference by the manipulations of our record 2-time Commander in Chief and erstwhile President, now of Ota Plains, Chief General Olusegun Aremu Obasanjo) your destiny crossed our path in 2007 when you became the ‘elected’ President in PDP’s questionable hurricane style victory. You were even quoted to have admitted to some ‘irregularities’ in the election that swept you and Her Excellency, your madam Turai into Aso Rock.
In the legendary Nigerian spirit of accommodation and acceptance, we overlooked the ‘irregularities’ and recognized you with the hope that you would move us faster toward the dream of a developed, sustainable and egalitarian society. Alas! Our mutual journey in more than two years now has been anything but our hope. We seem to be moving true, but in the wrong direction. Our nation seems to be on a slow but steady descent towards abysmal destruction. 
Sir, nothing works. Core sectors necessary for development are in shambles: education, power, energy, healthcare, science and technology, labour and productivity, commerce and industry. The only sector that seemed to have inched forward is telecoms but due to the excessive chest-beating of the team that managed the notable progress, the same sector is fast becoming a trap for impoverishing Nigerian consumers via high tariffs, bogus promotions and draconian policies that favour personal agendas over national development.
As if our trauma was not sufficient, we became involuntary custodians of your personal challenge as you also voluntarily accepted to be responsible for all our destinies. Your physical well being became top priority to us because we could not afford any distractions in your office as President. Many churches and mosques offer incessant prayers to heaven for your good health weekly; families include you at their family altars daily. We felt that since the oath of office was like a covenant, your burdens became ours as our burdens became yours. Unfortunately, you seem to believe differently Your Excellency.
Even before you were ‘elected’, you and your handlers have played your health as some kind of Russian roulette with us. For some reason, we just never know exactly how healthy and fit you were. We have witnessed series of unexplained trips to all kinds of places (Germany today, Saudi Arabia tomorrow) without you briefing us on the national significance of such trips. Of course the unexplained trips became effective fodder for rumour mongers who were always quick to declare you dead, brain-dead or critically ill on life support.
Knowing the delicate fragility of Nigeria at this crucial time, rumours like this could potentially destabilize our polity yet  your handlers would not take proactive steps to crush such by giving us accurate, sufficient and consistent information prior to such trips and even while any needed procedures are going on. Sir, we have witnessed Presidents of nations in health crises (in this lifetime) and marvelled at how their aides managed information efficiently; such that the citizens of those nations had no use for rumours.
In our case however, your handlers saw your inevitable absence as a lifetime opportunity to become power brokers and leverage on the uncertainties  of your well being to ‘rule’ albeit temporarily.  The decision to keep your progress secret resulted in panic, anxiety, fear, speculations, rumours and national confusion. That was not good enough Your Excellency. You took an oath to protect and defend our national identity not destabilize and disorient our collective destiny.
I will not delve into collateral issues like why must you go to a foreign country to manage this infirmity while no attempt has been made to build a competent facility in Nigeria where your German or Saudi Arabian consultants can be brought to Nigeria to look after you?  (I am sure there must be a Nigerian Specialist in the particular strain of infirmity that would gladly relocate home to lovingly care for you.)
Your Excellency, we have lived through a harrowing 50 days wondering where and how you were. Many Nigerians have worried so much they have become ill themselves. There has been unnecessary aggression from husbands, speculating on the prognosis of your demise and how it might affect their livelihood, on concerned wives whose terror cantered on whether there might be tribal or religious crisis now the President is absent; which in turn would affect the price of foodstuff in the market.
We have worried through a national crisis of budget approval and the authenticity of your purported signature from a sick bed in Saudi Arabia. We worried through a legal and constitutional crisis of who should swear in the next Chief Justice; a political crisis of the superiority of PDP’s zoning constitution formula over the Constitution of the Federal Republic, the exclusive protocol of our continued existence as a nation. We have worried through the moral crisis of a hapless, misguided Nigerian youth, Umar Farouk Mutallab, his notorious Christmas gift to the world; and the subsequent backlash on all Nigerians home and abroad.
We have worried through a diplomatic crisis of being listed on the U.S ‘list of “Countries to watch for Terrorism”, a direct consequence of Mutallab’s singular action. All of these we have been through without any knowledge of where or how you were. Image our shock and dismay Sir, when we discovered that to establish your living status, you deemed the BBC of more importance than we the citizens of Nigeria and direct consumers of your service as the President of our Federal Republic!
As if that was not enough humiliation Sir, the only message you had for us in this controversial interview is to tell us you are alive and getting better and will soon be back. At the risk of sounding callous Sir, we daresay, “And so what? So what if you are alive, sir; so what if you are getting better and so what if you will soon be back, Sir? How do any of these truths speak to our multi-crises status, Your Excellency? How do they make over 50 days of trauma disappear or how does it address on-going issues of national importance? 
While we are thankful to God for you and your family that your health is improving, may we also remind Your Excellency that this script is not about you sir, but about over 140 million Nigerians who require continuous leadership to ensure their existence is secure and guaranteed. To mortgage our lives in order to safeguard yours is oppressive and to nurture your life at our expense is unfair. The least you would have done Sir, was to ensure that no vacuum of leadership was fostered by your absence by following the constitutional procedure of a formal letter to the Senate of your absence from duty so they could empower your Vice to act while you were away. It was not rocket science Your Excellency and you would have saved us untold trauma.
Now that we are fairly certain you are alive Sir, we hope it is not too much for you to sign this much needed letter of absence from your sick bed (after all, you ‘signed’ a whole national budget into law the same way) and forward same to the Senate so we can all stop this musical chairs and get back to the business of nation building. With utmost respect for your office sir, we say “Enough is Enough”! Please rein in the train of intrigue and conspiracy and harness the ferocious dogs in your cabinet, family and close allies who are playacting as President. We are fed up with their antics.
Your Excellency, let government be of laws rather than of men. That is the only legacy you can leave that will endure. And while you are at it, may we suggest that you fire your handlers and hire a team of competent, smart and patriotic young men and women who have a stake in the destiny of this nation? Obviously, the cabal surrounding your office (give or take a fraction) appears tired, disoriented and unable to respond to the dynamic realities of governance in a Facebook, Twitter and 3G world order.
In conclusion, we wish you Godspeed as you are revived, revitalized and restored to health. Please take your time to get better so this scenario never repeats itself again. In fact Your Excellency, as your magnanimous ‘employers’, we gladly allow you to please take the rest of your life. We pray you live to be honoured as a statesman of this great nation. But let it be on record that on behalf of millions of Nigerian citizens who are consumers of your service, that we are not very impressed with the last 50 days of your administration sir!